Queens of Random

Ya know, a lot of blogs are bitching about this and bagging on Dakota saying that this sucks and I TOTALLY disagree.  Stop being so fucking obnoxious.  She’s not gonna belt tunes like professional tenor, but what she does do is pretty damn good.  It’s sure a hell of a lot fucking better than anything Britney Spears or Debbie Gibson ever put out.  For the record, as good as The Runaways actually were, Cherie Currie was not a world renowned vocalist.  If this version of the song (and the girls singing) is good enough for Joan Jett & Cherie Currie (AKA the people who blazed this trail to begin with) than it’s good enough for me.  Neither Dakota or Kristen have announced they are about to throw their hats in to the music ring.  They are ACTING for fucks sake.  Deal with it already.

I’m pretty pumped to see The Runaways movie.  It looks good, and I’m not a hater just because Kristen Stewart is in the movie and other gossip blogs like to trash a bitch.  I feel like everyone is so anti-Kristen these days because it’s the popular thing to do.  She’s a kid & frankly, I feel sorry for her.  I’d be pretty uncomfortable too if people found shit wrong with me  24/7. 

I’m a picky bitch just like everyone else on earth, but sometimes it seems like we all go out of our way to attack celebrities who haven’t really done anything to offend.  She’s comporting herself a hell of a lot better than Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton or Heidi Montag.

Just saying.

When you talk about out of touch and delusional, you need to look no further than Lindsay Lohan. 

The red/blonde/orange/brunette/black/busted weave headed “actress” is suing E*Trade for the above commercial.  Why?  Because one baby asks another baby if they were with that “milk-a-holic” Lindsay.  You know… milk, like… FORMULA.  You know, for babies?!?!?  Lohan thinks they are busting on her, and has filed a lawsuit for ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS (cue Dr. Evil laugh track), claiming that the company used her “name and characterisation” without permission. 

Her dumb as dirt mother, Dina, weighed in on the issue, and it’s a real fucking winner:

Dina tells  The New York Post that Lindsay called her after the Superbowl and busted thes following gems, “‘Mommy, help me. This is wrong. How can they do this?’”

Lohan thinks that her first name carries the same weight as Madonna, Liberace, Cher, Beyonce, and Jesus.

The dumbass said said, “They’re little babies doing this (wait… wait… she DOES realize those babies aren’t really talking, right????), mocking another child (Again. They aren’t really talking.  Also, LiLo isn’t a child anymore, even if she continues to behave like one) who’s just trying to survive Hollywood, basically. I’m just basically glad I took a stand. I’m not going to let them do this to us anymore.”

Fuckin a’ someone is self important.  Our expert Detective Wowthatgirlisoutoftouchwithreality reviewed the ad and can state with 100% authority that the commercial is not poking fun at Lohan.  The clue that cracked the case wide open is that the baby in question is not orange.  Add in the fact that Lohan is generally not recognized as just Lindsay.  If the babys name was any one of the actual names people use for Lilo (such as: firecrotch, LiLo, Lohan, Blohan, Ooompa Loompa Lohan, or Lindsanity, just to name a few), the argument that the orange idiot is trying to make would be easier to understand.

Lilo is another former child actor who is barreling down the wrong path head first.  Just like Corey Haim, her mother is enabling her.  It’s a sin, but if she doesn’t get help, she’s headed where he just went.

Meanwhile, I’m waiting for Lindsay Wagner (the bionic woman) to file a lawsuit once she realizes the ad is actually poking fun at her. 

Here it is.  The teaser for the future trailer of the coming June release of the movie Twilight.

Phew. That was exhausting.

I don’t really have thoughts since you get nothing from it.

Corey Haim, 38, best known for BFF status and 80s appearances with buddy Corey Feldman was pronounced dead at 3am this morning of an apparent accidental drug overdose.  If California malpractice insurance isn’t going through the roof by now…  Haim is notorious for his struggle with drugs through the years, and yet, I was still shocked to read the news.  He grew to fame at a young age through films like Lucas, License to Drive, Dream a Little Dream and, of course, The Lost Boys.  As of now, the story is still developing…

This is really sad in a “totally preventable” kind of way.  Anyone who watched the A&E show “The Two Coreys” saw this coming, and actually isn’t surprised.  It doesn’t make it any less of a waste of life though.  Haim suffered from a horrific addiction to drugs from very early on.  In LA talk of his dabbling with heroin started when he was just 17. 

Corey Haim suffered a drug induced stroke last night and was pronounced dead at the Providence Saint Joseph Medical Center.  Apparently he was discovered by his mother. 

Corey had been in and out of rehab over a dozen times.

Rough year for Corey Feldman, Haim’s former BFF (they stopped talking due to Haim’s erratic and ridiculous behavior during Season 2 of “The Two Coreys”) and frequent co-star.  Since June Feldman has been hit with a series of blows- first the death of his childhood mentor and friend Michael Jackson, then his wife Susie filed for divorce, and now this.  The press will be all over him.  I’m sure he will court the attention, at least for a minute, but I’m betting this is going to rock his world.  His internet site is slammed and with visitors right now, so it is down.  Feldman & Haim had reconciled their friendship.  Tmz talked to Haim just three weeks ago, he was out with Feldman. 

 Does anyone know what happened to Corey Haim’s assistant, Nelle?

Hey all- haven’t been posting cause I am sick as a dog.  I am hoping to be able to post all the Oscar fashions tonight though!!

And this Queen’s been taking some classes recently (for the hell of it?) and, well, everything seems to be due all at once.  So I’ve been one big happy ball of stress.  I’m convinced universities are really sith training camps ran by Darth himself…  But I will also be watching the Oscars tonight.  I’ll be wearing my Hurt Locker helmet/hat and giant Kathryn Bigalow foam finger!

This is some fucked up shit right here.  Michael Jackson’s orphaned children are living at Casa de Jackson in Encino (AKA Casa de Crazy- cause almost NONE of those Jackson kids turned out “normal”) and Tmz is reporting exclusively that the Department of Child and Family Services paid a visit last night after someone tipped them off that Jermaine Jackson’s THIRTEEN YEAR OLD SON, Jaafar,  ordered a taser gun online. 

Randy Jackson and Katherine Jackson’s attorney, Adam Streisand, tried to but the kabosh on this story, saying that yes, Jaafar did order a taser gun, but it was confiscated by Jackson family security before it ever reached Jaafar. 

Tmz has the straight scoop though, and the confiscated by security before it could be used story is a straight up lie.  Jaafar DID get a hold of the taser gun, and was testing it out on the second floor of the family compound.  The guards could hear the noise but weren’t sure where it was coming from.  They finally narrowed down the area the sound was coming from, and a guard found Jaafar setting up to stun Blanket!  At that time the guard confiscated the WEAPON.  When DCFS was at the house last night, they removed it from the property.

But… here’s the rub.  Sources are telling Tmz (and Tmz has good sources) that there is a SECOND stun gun in the house that was NOT removed.  Tmz says DCFS is taking this very seriously. 

DCFS really needs to intervene on behalf of these children and either put them in foster care, give them to Diana Ross or let Debbie Rowe take them back.  The Jackson’s cant handle these kids.  There is so little supervision that a 13 year old was able to order a weapon online.   Plus, Joe Jackson might be around from time to time.  Case closed. The kids have to be removed.

I really feel sorry for Blanket in all of this.  That poor child is going to grow up so traumatized as it is.  First dangled out of a hotel window, then shielded from life with masks and scarves over his head, and now his cousins are trying to tase him. 

If you live in the Lost Angeles area, be on the look out for Jaafar (pictured below).  Don’t let him near your kids, cause he will tase them bro!

(Sorry, I had to)

For more details on the story, visit www.tmz.com

Behold this ode to the animal print.  Girls everywhere are probably going to flock to this dress, and in some ways I kind of see why, mostly because I like the lining of the dress.  My beef with this dress is the top and the wanna-be wedding cake skirt.  It’s all awkward looking and shit.  Hah I kind of like.  I’m not too into rockin’ the animal print, but I also like the line of the dress.

This dress… it hurts my eyes.

UGH this is awful!!!!  I don’t get the two-piece/midriffy dresses.  They look like trash AND are completely unflattering.

If your daughter comes home with this dress, just skip the rest of this whole “school” thing and have her go apply at the strip club- cause thats where her future lies.  If your sons date is wearing this, hide any wads of money laying around the house.  Hahahaha oh, oh.  Especially when the model herself looks like a cross between Pam An. and Bridgette from GNS.  Big flashing red lights right there!

It’s like a rainbow, a kaleidoscope and a flower shop had sex and this was the result.

I get the whole hippy-dippy angle of the dress, but just not for prom.  Keep it for your acid trips and raves, please.

Someone REALLY needs to tell the prom fashion designers that no rational parent wants their daughters dress to have a slit so high that a gynecologist could give a visual exam from a mile away.

The picture itself is screwing with my head…

Half little black dress, half Vegas Review stage curtain.

Or, Wicked Witch of the West turns Emerald City pole dancer.

Pamela Anderson

Chad Ochocinco Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver

Aiden Turner of “All My Children.”

Kate Gosselin

Shannen Doherty

Buzz Aldrin

Evan Lysacek

Erin Andrews, ESPN

Nicole Scherzinger

Niecy Nash   LOVE HER!!

Jake Pavelka  The (current) Bachelor

This season premieres Monday March 22nd.

The Stripper Mobile rolls in Tampa Florida’s bar districts  evenings after 1opm.  The Stripper Mobile got it’s start in Vegas, but Vegas officials weren’t having this shit, so they made them leave.  Next stop, Tampa! 

Tampa is fine with them riding the streets, as long as they get the proper license and registration. 

What do you think of the stripper mobile?  Yay or Nay??

Robert and co-star Emilie de Ravin pose together on the red carpet at the premiere of their movie, “Remember Me.”  The movie premiere took place at the Paris Theater in New York City. 

Busy day for ol’ Rob.  This morning he was on The Today Show, and tonight he is participating in a Jimmy Fallon sketch.  Can’t wait to see that.  Fans of course know that Jimmy has created a funny series of vids where he stars as Edward.  Check em out here: http://www.robertisbothered.com/

The movie hits theaters on March 12.  Some internet assholes are spoiling the ending for people, which really bums me out.  Suffice it to say that it looks good, and if you are interested, GO.  Don’t read the spoiler!!

Kristen Stewart showed up for the Remember Me premiere wearing some god awful pants.  That puce colored fuckery looks like it was once a set of jacquard curtains in Liberace’s house. 

Of course, Twilight fans everywhere are rejoicing to know that ‘Bella’ and ‘Edward’ are together, so they care not about the pants. 

Photo Credit: Getty Images